Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Ok here’s the story:
I’m an alcoholic. I like to drink but I want/have to stop. I have been trying but I have discovered how difficult it is. I’ve cut way back but I eventfully go binging. This infuriates my BF to the point of almost destroying our relationship. I have almost lost my job because of it and have hurt myself (not intentionally) I got a DUI because of it. I’ve been kicked out of bars and fought with BF and EX. I have to stop so I started looking into AA and substance abuse counseling. I haven’t started anything yet but I have to. It’s very hard. I have to do it for me and I have to do it for my relationship. In my heart I know I’d rather hold my BF’s hand than a cocktail glass. My BF is rather impatient with my progress (damn it’s hard) which leads to the second issue. Me and my BF have sort of been together for four years. about a year ago we really made a commitment to each other. I'm a nester. I want to create a home with him and have him move in with me. I'll continue this later it's kind of hard to write about this now. UPDATE: haven't seen or talked to the BF much in the last few days. test messages not replied to. feeling pretty down. heavy heart.
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3 comments:
I recommend the AA movement. As an atheist, you'll find tha there are plenty of workarounds for the higher-power crap (though the idea that you're not the highest power in your life and can't control everrything is a useful one.) Drop me a line if you wantto chat--I know how it is!
Thanks for posting about this, you are fast becoming one of my favourite bloggers due to your frankness and honesty. Thanks for reading my blog to at www.realeuphoria.com
I just wanted to say that I have been where your boif has been. I have been in a relationship with an alcoholic. In my case the relationship ended and I would not go there again. But in saying that it didn't change how I felt towards him. In your post you mentioned how it infuriates him. My ex would say the same thing but infuriates was not the right word. It was torture and hurt. The constant feelings of hurt I felt because it was someone I loved. The pain was unbelievable. Never could I say it was anger. It may have manifested itself in that way but what was going on in me was hurt and pain.
I trully wish you the best and I hope you sort the problem out before it's too late. Don't choose the booze over the boyfriend.
I've had my own battle with addiction and been in relationships with addicts and alcoholics as well. If you ever need someone to reach out to, my email address is stoneface7@gmail.com.
I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you.
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